What Charlie taught about raising kids
Bring them to church, protect the Sabbath, and teach them three questions: how did I get here, why am I here, where am I going.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
“And men, let me tell you something that you will never forget. When you get married, it is your biblical obligation to bring your family to church on a regular basis. That is the man's role… Men, don't create that family for yourself. I know that, you know, you want to sleep in or, you know, you want to watch a football game. Get your act together, bring your wife, bring your kids and bring them to church. That sets an example for your kids that you value God over comfort.”
Charlie did not treat raising kids as a technique. He treated it as a way of life that starts with what the parents do. Asked how he and Erika keep a God-centered home, his answer was not a parenting system. It was church, prayer, fasting and rest.
He was direct with fathers. He told men it is their biblical obligation to bring their family to church on a regular basis, and he did not soften it. Sleeping in and the football game were the excuses he named. His reason was not guilt. It was example: showing your kids, week after week, that you value God over comfort.
“Turn off your phone for one day a week. The world will keep on turning and you will be happier. What that has meant for our marriage, by honoring the Sabbath, it makes it easier to spend time with the kids, to go to church, to be with one another, and to kind of have a holy covering around that.”
“So the three questions, and you guys know all of these questions, and education should be talking about them all the time. How did I get here? Why am I here? And where am I going? That's it. If you accomplish those three questions, it doesn't matter if they are struggling to be able to do the quadratic equation. It's fine. We could teach them that eventually.”
He also believed a home needs a day with the noise turned off. For him that meant switching his phone off from Friday night to Sunday morning. The result, he said, was a clearer mind and more time with the kids, with church and with his wife, a kind of holy covering around the family. He asked everyone to try one day a week.
And speaking at an educators' summit, he boiled what children most need to know down to three questions: how did I get here, why am I here, and where am I going. If a child can answer those, he said, the quadratic equation can wait. A child who can answer those has a foundation, and the rest can be built on it.
That is Proverbs 22:6 in practice. You do not have to be an expert. You have to be present, faithful and willing to say out loud where your family stands.
Living it today
Pick one day this week and make it a Sabbath for your home: phones off, church or prayer together, a meal at the table. Then ask your kids the three questions at dinner and listen to what they say.
A prayer
Lord, thank you for the children you have trusted me with. Make me a parent who leads by example, who shows up, and who points them to you. Help our home be a place where they learn who made them and why they are here. Amen.